So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
