the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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