I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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