I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
