Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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