If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize