wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I have grass duct taped all over my body
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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