I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
How's work?
Spinning.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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