All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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