so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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