I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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