I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
