All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize