Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
