Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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