I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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