I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
