I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
