He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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