i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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