I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
