True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
