I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
