Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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