Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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