??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
