I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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