True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
