What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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