So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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