My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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