she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
