She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
