I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
