Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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