Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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