Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
