isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
