My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize