Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
