if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
