I must be too annoying 4 u.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize