So drunk, too bad you don't want this
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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