I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
