she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
