Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
