She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize