Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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