the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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