If i come over, it means nothing
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
