he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize