you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
