we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
