My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
