When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
