Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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