if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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