Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
