best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Floor bacon is actually really good
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
