i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize