Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
