I'm really into asian looking animals
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
We got so high we made milksteak
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize