her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
