trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
