i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Is it because I queefed?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
