Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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